Approximately 3 years, 10 months, 7 weeks, 4 days, and 19 hours ago, I had my mid-life crisis. Rushing from work to the gas station and then off to God-only remembers where, I was sitting at a stop light at the intersection of blase boredom and rueful reality when it hit me: My life is whizzing by and I’ve done nothing.
Sure, on paper, I had it all: happily married; well-educated; good career; confidently in my 40’s; and the ability to come and go as I pleased. And then I got a random text from my long-lost college boyfriend, Miguel.
Him: RUSTY! How the hell are ya? (Yes, after all these years, he still calls me Rusty, but that’s another story…)
Me: Fine. I think. Okay. Not fine. I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Him: But you’re too young to have a MLC. Are you thinking of running off with your pool boy?
Me: Sadly, I’m not too young. And no, I’m not thinking of running off with my pool boy. I don’t have a pool.
Even if I had a pool and the “boy” to tend to its needs, the thought of running off with him was the thing I desired least. I wanted to run away, if only in the proverbial sense, and I only wanted to run away from my then present sense of doom into something diferent. And after briefly entertaining the notion of joining an all-female rock band; getting an “I am bad ass” tat; and climbing aboard a cross-country tour bus, I realized that wouldn’t cure my MLC.
I needed more substance in my life. Didn’t know what. Didn’t know how. But I did know I needed more meaning.
Fast forward 3 years, 10 months, 7 weeks, 4 days, and 19 hours later to Minneapolis, Minnesota on February 23, 2014. Now, well into my 40’s, I am still good on paper. And as I sit here with the energy that only comes from French-pressed coffee and scrambled eggs, I see that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I am here and and I am on my way to where I want to be.
Now, at the intersection of “my company is moving to Texas by the end of the year” and “where the hell am I going to go?”, I know to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. And what’s wonderful is my heart and my head are on the same path. Maybe that’s into something new and wonderfully different. Maybe that’s leaving what is known into the unknown. Maybe that is leaving something comfortable. But regardless of the journey about which I will soon embark, it’s all in the direction of my steadfast desire to do my part to change the world.
It’s now or never. Let’s go!